جوک (برگشت به لیست کامل)

 (قصد فقط مزاحه و لطفا به هموطنای عزیز که ازشون نام برده میشه بر نخوره!)

be torke migan ba jorab joomle besaz .mige:mano dadasham yejor ab mikhorim

chand nafar miraghsidan
ye torke ye taraf neshaste boode poshte sare ham migofte : sabz zard abi ghermez,narengi....
migan chikar mikoni mige MAN RAGHSE NOORAM !!!

torke mire badansazi
morabeye mige hafteye aval badan dard dari.
torke mighe pas man az hafteye dovom mieyam

Be Torke Axe Ye Temsaho Neshoon Midan Migan Shoma Be In Chi Migin ,
MIge Ma Galat MIkonim Be In Chizi Begim

Jam bandie jokehaye saale 83:
01- ye rooz ye torke mizane be saresh saresh mishkane
02- ye rooz ye torke az khab mipare dastesh mishkane ,
03- ye rooz ye torke khodesho mizane be oon rah , gom mishe
04- ye rooz ye torke mikhore zamin , hava mire , nemidooni ta koja mire
05- ye rooz ye torke mikhore be shishe mige : ajab havaye sefti
06- ye rooz ye torke mikhore be divar kamoone mikone
07- zohresh mikhore be divar mige : bebakhshid
08- shab mikhore be divar vay miste ta police biyad
09- torke mire tazahorat mibine shoolooghe barmigarde
10- torke mire laye ozon ro midooze khodesh mimoone oon var
11- torke mire poshte boom mikhabe sardesh mishe dare poshte boom ro mibande

torke be ye 2khtare mige 1 mach miD?
2khtare mige na,
tork mige bichare bekhatere khodet goftam, vagarna man ke zan daram...

be torke migan ahmaghtarin khanande kie?
mige HABIB,
migan chera? mige: akhe gitar mizane mige sedaye dohol miad

ye eidzi ampoole khoonie aloodaro be mardom mizade, be ie torke mizane va torke mikhande mige: haha, khodam gozashtam...

Ye khanoom: Alo... police....! ye mard varede khooneye man shode, alan be man hammm'le kaaard...
mmmmiiishhhe baraye daaastgyeee oooooon [ahh, joooon] faarda sobh bbbbiaid?

bachehe be mamanesh mige maman dirooz baba ba khale narges oomad khoone
bad baham raftan too otagh khab,bad mamane mige vaysa baghiasho shab ke babat oomad khoone begoo,bad shab sare sham mige azizam khob begoo oonrooz ke baba ba khale narges oomad chi shod?
bad bachehe mige hichi raftan too otagh khab bad hamoon kario kardan ke to hamishe ba amoo nader mikoni
 

ye rooz ye torke mashrob mikhore shangool mishe gorge mikhoratesh

mikhe mire kelas raghs mishe pich

yaroo mire haj pardeie khoone khodaro migire shoroo mikone be tobe karadn
mige khodaya ghol midam ke dige bara torka jok nasazam ...
ye ho ye torke mizane sare shoone yaroo miporse bebakhshid aagha gheble az kodoom tarafe !

ye rooz ye torke khodesho send too all mikone ,yahoo khar too khar mishe

roobahe mirese be ye derakhte ke balash ye kalagh boode ba panir
mige : bah bah ! che sari che domi ajab pai ,
kalaghe mige: boro avazi man khodam dovom rahnamaiam!

ye bar 4ta esfahani dame 33pol ba ham shart mibandand sareshoon ro zire aab konand
har ki zoodtar dar avord bayad bereh bastani bekhare ,
4taeeshoon khafeh mishan

yaro lore to jebhe poshte zede havaii boode mizane ye havapeima ro mindaze,
khalebane ba chatr nejat mipare biron,
lore mige :bacheha dar rin sahebesh omad

torke ro mibaran kalantari mige chera mano avordin inja?
migan baraye aragh khori .
mige khob chera nemiyarin bekhorim?

ye rooz torke mire maghaze ke kooler bekhare,
maghazedare azash miporse abi bashe?
mige rangesh mohem nist.

be lakposhte migan chera namaz nemikhuni?
Mige akhe lak daram!

torke sandwichi mizane --
yaro mire pishesh mige agha bizahmat ye sandvich bedin goje ham nazarin --
torke mige jenab sharmande goje nadarim mikhay khyar shoor nazaram?

torke cherage jadoo peida mikone,
dast mikeshe behesh goolesh miyad biroon,
mige: che arezooii dari?
torke ye aah mikeshe mige: godso azad kon.
goole mige in kheili sakhte yeki dige begoo.
torke mige: pas mano adam kon.
goole saresho mindaze paiin mire,
torke mige hoyyy koja pas ?!
goole mige: daram miram gods ro azad konam !!!

ie rooz yaroo mimire mire oon donya
migan mikhay beri jahanam ya behesht?
mire dame behesht mibine ye jaye saket o khalvat...
mire dame dare jahanam mibine jangal o roodkhoone o derakhto
mige mikham beram jahanam
ta pasho mizare too mibine atish e o ...
mige chi shod pas?
migan chand vaght bood kasi nayoomde bood jahanam,
rafte bood roo screen saver

Be niyoton migan chera vaghty sib khord to saret taa'ajob kardi?
goft akhe zire derakhte golaby boodam

be gosfand migan bozorg tarin arezot chi?
mige ine ke jeloye vanet beshinam

torke ra baghal masihie khak mikonan ,
baad az ye hafteh masihie miad to khab pedar va madar torke ,mige:biad bachatoon ra bar darid .
migan :chera?
mige:har rooz saat 7 boland mishe mige to ke lebas tanete boro 2 ta barbari begir bia!!!

2ta morgh harf mizadan,
avali mige dirooz 2khtaram ro ba ye khoroose didiam,
2vomi mige inke chizi nist,man too kife 2khtaram tokhme moooooorgh peyda kardam

ye zane torke 7 gholoo mizad,
har kodoom ye rang dar miyan,
azmayesh mikonan mifahman ke zane be jaye ghorse zedde bardari (esmartis) mikhordeh!!!))))))

torke mikhaste az deheshoon biyad shahr mashin giresh nemyad savare vanete pore goosfand mishe
va chon ja naboode majboor mishe aghab beshine ,
2 daghe migzare goosfande ba torke chesh too chesh hamdigaro ne gah mikonan
... 5 min migzare.... 10 min migzare... 30 min migzare........
mahsin miofte too dastandaz goosfande mige baaaaaaaaaaaa.
torke mige baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah salam goftam ye ja didamet

angoshtare mire ghazvin,alangoo bar migarde

ye bar 1esfahaniye o tehraniye o rashtiye miran terya,
3ta shir moz sefaresh midan...
garson too shirmoz ha 3ta magas mindaze bebine ina che mikonan....
tehraniye ta mibine mige ba eshve ah halam be ham khord in chiye..mindaze oontaraf......
rashtiye magase ro bar midare o ye naga mikone mindaze oontarafo shir moz ro mikhore......
esfahaniye magase ro bermidare ba dastesh mizane poshte magse o mige dada shir mozayi ro ke khordi tekh koon,dada tekh koon

torke ba lore too jangal hoselashoon sar mire,
ye shire ro mibinan do
torke mige biya aziyatesh konim,,,,
ba tir mizane behesh,,,
shire asabesh khoord mishe o mido'e dobaleshoon,,,
torke mire bala derakht,ama lore oon payin mimoone,,,
torke mige chera farar nemikoni?, mige be man che to zadi besh.

ye mare zangi mirese be ye mare booa,mige salam booa!!!

be turke migan midoni avalin heyvoni ke be makke raft chi bod mige haj zanbore asal

be torke esmartiz midan 8 sa@t ye bar mikhorash

be turke migan ba baghiyash jomle besaz mige ke dishab pitza khordim
migan in baghiyash koosh pas ?
mige :too yakhchale

torke mire pompe benzin, benzin bezane ,
yaroo mige super bezanam ya mamooli ,
mige mamooli bezan khoonevade too mashine

torke heiat mizane
joloy dar heiat minevise be elate fot emam hosein heiat tatil mibashad

Be ye doone Tork e migan, midooni chera roye Khiaboone ValiAsr in esmo Gozashtan?
mige: choon Sobh o Zohr Hich khabari nist, Vali Asr , Por mishe az dokhtaraye khoshgel

ye afsare jeloye ye mashin ro migire,
be ranande mige: jenab shoma bekhatere bastane kamarbande imeni,50hezar toman az tarafe anjomane hemayat az imeni rahha jayeze bordid!
hala mikhayn ba in pool chikar konid?
Ranande: fekr konam beram bahash gavahinamamo begiram!
zane ke baghal dastesh nesheste boode mige: jenab sarvan harfasho goosh nakonid, shohare man vaghti maste yeband chertopert mige!
too sandalie aghab ye yarooee khaab boode,
az saroseda pa mishe mige: man az avalesham goftam ba mashine dozdi nemishe farar kard!
yeho yeki az sandogh aghabe mashin dad mizane: bebinam, belakhare az marz gozashtim ?
 

Torke be zane khareji :i love you.
Zan:i love you too.
Torke: i love you three.
Zan:what?
Torke:wat bi wat, choob la pat, ba man kal kal mikoni ??!

Rashtie ba zanesh davash mishe daste bachasho migire ba khodesh bebare zanesh mige mikhai beri boro vali bache mardomo koja mibari?

Gorge dasht goshad goshad rah miraft,behesh migan: chi shode? mige: raftam khune shangul mangul goftam madaretunam,az bakhte bad babaye kooreshun khune bood !!!

Be rashtie migan nazaret darbare period chie? mige vala chize khobie age nabod ma khanomemono mahi ye baram nemididim

Rashtiye mirese be doostesh,doostesh behesh mige che bacheye khoshgeli dari,rashtiye mige hala ye kari vase ma kardi heimennat bezar saremoona

Torke mire oon donia , jelosho migiran migan: 752/53 rakat namaz bedehkari. Mige: 752 tash ghabool ama 0.53 chie? Migan male cosinose enheraf az gheblast.

GHAZVINIE MIYAD TEHRAN BAVASILESHO AMAL KONE DOCTORESH MAGE IN AMALO GHAZVIN HAM ANJAM MIDAN CHERA OMADI INJA MIGE ONJA AMALE ZIBAI HESAB MISHE GERON MIGIRAN !

Gorge mire dare khoneye shangoolo mangool.
mige: va konid madaretonam
yaroo miyad mige: PEDAR SAG, to nemoody maro, az inja raftan!

Goosfande ghors ex mikhore mire sare khiabon be taxi mige darbast koshtargah.

Pirzane jolo ye taxi ro migire mige:namaz jome, ranandehe mige:vali madar emruz 3shanbas ! pirzane mige : ey voy khak besarom didi dishab haji goolom zad !

Torke to WC ghash mikone,be hosh ke miyad,mige:
man kiyam?!
Inja kojast?!
Ki mano ride?!

Pirzane jolo ye taxi ro migire mige:namaz jome, ranandehe mige:vali madar emruz 3shanbas ! pirzane mige : ey voy khak besarom didi dishab haji goolom zad !

Yeruz torke mire golforushi mige: Agha gole mikhak darin?golforush mige:na.Torke mipare tokhme golfoqusharo migire,mige zanam gofte age nadasht tokhmesho begir!

1 Magasei dast mindaze dore gardane doost 2khtaresh mige :MIDUNI AZ G0H BISHTAR MIKHAMET.!!!

ye tork moadab az yeki miporse: "bebakhshid sharmande room be divar" mishe beporsam esme u? taraf:in joor ke to migi /AN/.

Be torke megan : chera darohato sar vaght nemekhory? mege mekham mekrobaro ghafelger konam

Be ye janbaz 1% migan shoma chejori 1% janbaz shodi?Mige to sangar nesheste bodam khompare zadan pashmam rikht.

Torke mire doctor ampul bezane,doctore mige agha chap bezanam ya rast?Mige vasat bezan!Miporse chera?Mige: agha dige in kune maro siasish nakonin!!

Torke mashinesho mishoste migan chera az pelak shoru kardi? Mige dafe pish az saghf shoru kardam be pelak ke residam didam mashine khodam nis

Be låk-poshte migan: To chera namåz nemikhuni? Migé: Låk dåram, nemitunam!

2 ta tork miran laie ozono midoozan yekishoon oon taraf ja mimoone

Arabe khodesho to ayeneh nega mikone mige in ghiafe cheghadr baram ashnas!Fekr mikone yeho mige ahan chand ruz pish to salmooni didamesh!

ghorbaghehe X mizane, az farda keral mire !!!!!!!!!!!!

Pesare ba dokhtare tu khune budand dokhtare mige man miram ghayem misham age peydam kardi bokonam age peydam nakardi , zire peleha ghayem shodam.

Be goosfande migan che joori mirini? Mige be sabke goroohe arian! Migan yani che joori? Mige: doone doone doone...!

Torke mashinesho mishoste migan chera az pelak shoru kardi? Mige dafe pish az saghf shoru kardam be pelak ke residam didam mashine khodam nis

Yaro dashte tu arosi mikhonde "mikham ke ba bose gole labato parpar konam" yeho gasht miad tu , yaro edame mide "on golaye parpareto nesare rahbar konam"

Akhbare dirooz: be 1raahebe ke dar park midavid, tajavoz shod. akhbare emrooz: 100ha raahebe dar park midavand!

ye bar ghazviniye be alefbaye farsi eteraz mikoneh ke chera be N migan noon vali be K migan kaf !

Torke mast mikone mige velam konin mikham beram shorte zanamo dar bearam. migan chera hala male zaneto ! mige akhe keshesh kamaramo aziat mikoneh!!

Torke mire donbale ye dokhtare jav migirash azash jelo mizane

Torke ra mibordan otagh amal azash miporsan HAMRAH dari mige areh khamoshesh kardam!

Piremarde mire darookhoone mige 1/4 ghorse Viagra bedid,yaroo mige akhe to ke karet ba 1/4 rah nemiofte,mige faghat mikham moghey e shashidan kafsham khis nashe.

Be ye torke migan 3ta heyvoon bego ba KH shoroo beshe mige :
Khodam,Khaharam,Khanomam.

HEZAR PA'E AZ DERAKHT MIYOFTE PAIEN MIGE:AKH PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM PAM !!

(برگشت به لیست کامل)

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